I gave myself a challenge this evening. In under an hour I would sit at my computer, and write a poem about my romantic life - or lack thereof. A brutally honest poem, which I would then post on Tumblr. I am twenty years old, and I’m beginning to feel happy in my life again. Even if this is ignored and gets no notes, I did something that a year ago I would have been almost incapable of.
I’m ready, now.
I’m ready, now
To be loved in that romantic way.
I am ready for somebody to see
The scars that disfigure my body
And see not greed or indulgence
But the marks of a battle,
That I am slowly beginning to win.
I’m ready for you to kiss my neck
And lower and lower and lower.
And you to be there in the morning
And the next morning and the next,
To cuddle me, and drink tea from novelty mugs.
I will wear your t-shirt to bed
Even if it clings a little more than I’d like.
I’m ready for you to call me
Just because you have a spare ten minutes
And there is nobody else
That you would rather call.
Because you know in that ten minutes,
I will make you laugh, and smile.
I’m ready to meet your friends
And you to meet mine
And our separate worlds will slowly collide.
We’ll play our favourite music to each other
And alone I’ll listen to the same love songs I always did
But they won’t make me sad anymore.
I’m ready for you to tell me I’m beautiful,
When I’m ill and snotty and gross.
And I won’t believe you but it’ll make me happy
And I’ll kiss you softly and smile.
And then a week later when you’re ill
I’ll tell you you’re beautiful, and kiss you again.
I’m ready to walk into a clothes shop
And not feel bile rise to my mouth
Looking at things that I cannot wear.
As my body is getting smaller,
I am shedding my armour, too.
But for that, a little bit, I hate myself.
I’m ready for you to tell me I’m wonderful,
At that dark hour when I feel like
Throwing myself in front of a bus.
You’ll say you want to help me feel happy
But you’ll know there’s nothing you can do,
So you just lay with me and let me cry.
I’m ready to be the same person I always was,
To hold the same values and beliefs,
With the same friendships, and tastes.
Two halves perhaps make a whole
But I am looking to become a whole
By putting my own broken pieces back together.
I’m ready to go out at night
And not feel like ugly, useless furniture.
I will laugh and dance and drink and smoke
And the voice in the back of my head
Pointing out that nobody seems attracted to me,
Will be told firmly that I find myself attractive.
I am slowly, timidly beginning to realise
That I too am deserving of love.
And that I too might one day find it.
If I do not, perhaps the realisation is enough.
But if I am being honest,
I would like you to hurry up.
this is probably the only sex gif i will every reblog, because for some reason i feel like it’s more than just sex. i don’t know if it’s how they’re actually looking at one another or the way they can’t get close enough. he’s actually looking at her like a person and not just a sex object.
but then again, it could be all in my head. i mean, this is how i would want it to be. but that’s just me.
I’m about 97% sure we’re not seeing the same gif
I’m not a One Direction fan but I keep seeing this . ‘the curly haired one who dated Taylor Swift and has prison tattoos’ & ‘the one currently sporting questionable facial hair’ are dating! husbands! the ‘evidence’ seems to be - they’re very touchy feely with each other except when a camera is pointed directly at them, and they spring apart. maybe, just maybe, it’s ‘cos when they’re caught being affectionate thousands of people suddenly take to the internet to dissect the photograph, and it makes them a little uncomfortable. not because they’re in the closet, but because they’re just close friends and they don’t need to be a projection of your fantasies.
file this under: shit I never thought I’d care enough about to text post but it’s 6:30am and I have insomnia so why not
Childhood crush on Diego from Ice Age. Not just me, right?
been off Tumblr for about 6 weeks due to technological issues, hello again!
The north of England that is, as a very special fan-hosted event is coming your way.
Fresh from his performance at LeakyCon London this August, Alex Carpenter will be jetting over from the US to Macclesfield, Cheshire, for a one-off performance at a special fandom Christmas event, “Have Yourself A Very Geeky Christmas.”
Headlining a night of wizard rock, Carpenter will be taking to the stage on December 7th amongst the likes of Jadene Doak, Hayley Carr, and The Lost Diadems in a night no Muggle will forget in hurry! Tickets start from 12GBP and can be purchased here.
Read more at MuggleNet.
That half asleep hungover photo with Luke’s borrowed douchey short brimmed Fedora is going to haunt me forever. FOREVER.
Also, I am playing in England again. Lets hang out.
are you serious, I live in Cheshire and the one time something cool happens I’m out of the country? ARE YOU SERIOUS